Gospel of the Non-Prophet

Mark Felt, American Hero?

2005-06-01T10:04:00.000-04:00

Not surprisingly, I have been fascinated by the Deep Throat story for years. This is one reason I thought I'd try to be a reporter in college. I loved the idea that two 20 something reporters could stand up to an entire branch of the guv'ment. Well, it was revealed today that Deep Throat was none other than Mark Felt, who was the number 2 guy at the FBI during the 1970s.

Here's a run down of the best on this topic:
1. Howard Kurtz writes a great piece in his column on the media, Media Notes in the Wash Post. What if Deep Throat was a source during the current administration?
2. NY Times editorializes
3. Wash Post confirms.
4. Is this a bit of a letdown? A bit like finally seeing the Wizard of Oz come out from behind the curtain.
5. Slate writer Timothy Noah guessed Felt as the "Deep Throat" source - and is a little sad that he was right.

Longest Day Ever

2005-05-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

Had a fun night last night - maybe a little TOO fun. Woke up, probably still intoxicated, but a good hot shower helped me move solidly into hangover territory. Good times. Half priced martinis at Ozios SOUND like a good time, until the next day. . .

Thank you, Larry David

2005-05-10T15:17:00.000-04:00

This is a great piece.

Just flew in from St. Pete. . .

2005-05-10T10:18:00.000-04:00

And boy are my arms tired.

So let's recap the last 3 weeks:
1. Can't get any gear/uniforms because of a bureacratic SNAFU that's going to delay that process for at least 6 more weeks.
2. Can't take EMT this summer.
3. I hate a solid 40% of my office.

A Shout out for Donnie D

2005-04-28T00:55:00.000-04:00

As requested, a very special shout-out to the always busy poet-warrior Donnie Darko, in Michigan. . . Thanks for the emails today, Jay.

(Ok, only about 3 people got that reference, but that's probably about 75% of the readership of this blog)

BTW, in what was otherwise a very sad day, two funny web pages came to my attention:
ACFD3.com
ACFD9.com

I particularly like the cheesy tunes with ACFD9. These are two web pages for fire stations in Arlington County. ACFD 9 is where the Haz Mat rescue squad works. Hazardous materials? Uhm, I think regular materials are hazardous enough pour moi. Those guys really ARE crazy. If you hit "enter here" and then scroll down halfway through the page, you'll see a picture of Jeff "Crooked" Crooke, who has, without a doubt, the best handlebar mustache in the department that I've seen so far. I have the distinction of being yelled at by Jeff one Saturday a few weeks ago for using the wrong broom to sweep the floor of the bay at Station 6, where he was working an extra shift.

Yeah, you read that right.

When it rains. . .

2005-04-27T11:12:00.000-04:00

It pours. Best of luck to Adam T, who is starting chemo this week. A great rower and a great Bobcat.

Lev Naumov, Rest in Peace

2005-04-27T10:35:00.000-04:00

Lev Naumov, Bates College class of 2003, Bates EMS, Paramedic in Pelham, NY, and a righteous guy. Link above, and here's a WNBC story:

Two Die In Small Plane Crash In Westchester
FAA, NTSB Investigating
UPDATED: 11:37 am EDT April 25, 2005

NORTH CASTLE, N.Y. -- A flight instructor and his student were killed Saturday when their small plane crashed in a wooded area near Westchester County Airport, authorities said.

The victims were identified as Isaac Negron, of Hamden, Conn., and Lev Naumov, of Yonkers, according to Adele Dowling, a spokeswoman for Westchester County. Negron, whose age was not immediately available, was teaching Naumov, who was 23, she said. The Cessna 172 was about a quarter of a mile from a runway at the airport when radar and radio communications were lost, said Holly Baker, a spokeswoman for the Federal Aviation Administration.

Local fire officials found the wreckage off of Route 120 in the town of North Castle just after 4 p.m., according to Anthony Sutton, commissioner of Westchester County's Department of Emergency Services. Negron and Naumov were the only people aboard. The plane took off from Westchester, flew to Albany and had been returning to Westchester when it crashed, authorities said.The victims apparently had been practicing instrument landing approaches, Baker said. Both the FAA and the NTSB would be investigating the cause of the crash, she said.

Hey, FBI. Let's get moving people.

2005-04-25T16:45:00.000-04:00

Forget about the war on terror for 5 minutes, FBI. You need to get my background check back to the ACFD.

So I passed my exam on Saturday. It's a huge relief to be through with it. For example, last week on Monday, I was rushing home to get to class so that I could cram - er, review - for my exam. This week? Johnny Rocket's for milkshakes if I can get my roommate to forget about the guilt associated with eating corn syrup this week. Yay, Judaism.

And in case anyone was wondering, I discovered who has the best job ever. It's this guy.

No new posts 'til after my exam

2005-04-20T16:23:00.000-04:00

Firefighter exam on Saturday starting at 0900h. Until then, you should read this blog.

See you on the big one!

Is that a light? Are we almost at the end of the tunnel?

2005-04-14T11:14:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhh. . . . Last night was the final class for my Indoc class at the fire house. We've learned everything we need to learn, now we just need to get through the exam, a week from Saturday. Confidence is reasonably high - I think we'll be able to get through. Spending all day Saturday and Sunday out there this weekend will certainly help. It's amazing to me that 1. 4 months has flown by this quickly, and 2. the amount of stuff you can learn in that time, 2 nights a week. Of course, those 2 nights often turned into 2 5 hour nights, with a Saturday or Sunday review, but it's been fantastic. It's a great opportunity to be able to serve your community in a way that involves big red trucks, cool tools, and occasionally, every once in a while, a legally sanctioned breaking down of doors and windows. That's just the icing on the cake.

People seem to assume that you're a good guy if you're a firefighter. If only they knew. Actually, I think that's generally the case. Except for when it's only other firefighters hanging around. Then it's a bit less PC. My favorite part of the fire department is the other firefighters. I've worked with 2 lawyers, a computer IT specialist for a defense contractor, a manager of a grocery store, and a school bus driver for Arlington County. But we're all firefighters when we're on duty. It's great to see everyone treated equally once the uniform goes on. My favorite firefighter is Rudy, who's 82 years old and is a "life member" which means he's no longer riding but still comes to our monthly meetings. He's tough as nails, pretends to hate anyone under the age of 60 (he once made a 55 year old guy go get him a glass of water and said, "thanks, Kid." when he got it). We always know Rudy has arrived when you hear a Marine Corps voice say, "HELLO, LADIES." as guys shuffle into the hall for our meetings. I think Rudy is still mad at the department for issuing fire proof pants and breathing tanks. He likes the old school ways - you get a big axe, a heavy coat, big boots, and a leather helmet. Anything beyond that is just a sign of weakness.

One test to go. . . .

Oh, and then 12 weeks of EMT school.

And then a weekend of Emergency Vehicle Operations Course (EVOC) to drive the engine.

And then 6 months of Firefighter I/II/Hazmat Ops. . .

Then I'm good to go. . .

100 Perc-izzle

2005-04-10T21:34:00.000-04:00

Wow. I'm really good at CPR, apparently. Perfect score on my CPR exam today. Wheeee. . .

Actual quotes/questions from my classmates and I as we sat through a painfully boring instructional video on CPR and practiced on plastic dummies:

1. "Hey Tony - isn't it more efficient to just use your boot on the baby?"
2. "The face fell off. I don't think they're gonna make it."
3. "I don't think I could ever look as good in pastel blue scrubs as Fred does on the video - can I still do CPR?"
4. "Do you have to talk like a robot, or is that optional?"
5. "We want to practice more realistic drills after lunch. . . we're going to Wendy's for bacon cheeseburgers. . ."
6. My buddy Calvin left a bar crowded with beautiful women "early" so he could get 4 hours of sleep before he went to class. So, he wanted every "patient" he worked on to be named after a woman he flirted with but had to leave at the bar. During the course of the day, you'd hear Calvin talking to his dummy, "Penelope. . . are you ok? I think she needs mouth to mouth. . . again."

To everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season. . .

2005-04-01T16:10:00.000-05:00

The first sign of spring outside - Screamer, the homeless guy who wears big headphones (not plugged into anything) who yells at inanimate objects, is walking around outside. I think he hibernates in winter. He just picked a fight with a tree, but decided to back down. Good call. The tree looked big. Uh oh - the parking meter is talking smack. .

25 Percent Down

2005-03-25T13:51:00.000-05:00

So 2 out of 8 members of my firefighting class dropped this week. Not really uncommon - what's actually uncommon is to get everyone through. But our class had gotten through the worst of it - we had gotten through the 8 hour hose day, the 8 hour ladder day, the 8 story climb up the ladder truck. So we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

However, with those 2 down, our class is probably stronger. In fact, the last 2 classes have gone through much easier than other classes have. Which is exactly what this course is supposed to do. If you aren't good enough to get through Indoc, you aren't gonna be a very good firefighter at all.

We've gotten to the EMS part of the course, which is fairly easy for me, and a lot of fun. I forgot how much fun EMS can be, and after running around with fire equipment for a few months, it was good to play around with an ambulance again. I'm still really focused on continuing with the fire side, but I'm excited to start EMT school this summer. If, for nothing else, to get all the training I have to do done with and I can get started riding.

This weekend is gonna be a hard core gym weekend for me. I've got a crazy busy week next week with class on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so I need to fit in 3 good workouts this weekend to keep up with the training schedule. Good times!

Blah

2005-03-16T10:14:00.000-05:00

I've been tired a lot lately. I need to start going to be earlier, eating better, or something. I dunno.

5 things about this week:

March Madness and St. Patrick's Day Madness on the same day? Good times.
Our website going down twice in a week? Bad times.
1 year review at work going well? Good times.
Our kitchen being a total disaster zone requiring extensive scrubbing? Bad times.
Did I mention March Madness? And St. Patrick's Day? Good times!

Ow.

2005-03-11T10:09:00.000-05:00

My head hurts. Damn tequila. And Jager. And. . . never mind.

The power of the force, and hoses

2005-03-07T14:03:00.000-05:00

My Jedi powers worked! I was not sick this weekend. Of course, it's back today. Ha.

So my Jedi powers worked, I wasn't sick this weekend. But now the sickness is back, basically at the same level that it was on Friday.

Survived the long firefighting weekend. 10 hours of hoses on Saturday, 9 hours of ladders on Sunday. A loooong weekend. My class actually met for beers on Saturday night, we all had 1 beer and started falling asleep. In bed by 9:45 Saturday night. But it was a lot of fun. Getting to spray the sh*t out of a wreck of a car with a hose makes a great noise. Of course, trying to hold onto that hose, not so much fun. More like one of the hardest things i've done in training so far.

Sunday was ladder day, which I was dreading slightly due to a small, shall we say, discomfort with heights. But I gutted through it, and passed the big test - climbed up a 3 story extension ladder with a tool and full turnout gear on, and succesfully broke a pretend window with no hands on the ladder. I was pretty excited when I succeeded in doing that, and also because I don't have to do it again for a little while!

This weekend was great. We finally got to see what the real deal of firefighting is like. Two of our main jobs as rookie firefighters will be to roll hoses and to throw (deploy) ladders. So we got a taste of the good stuff. And the verdict is - more time in the gym!

So, to sum up: I'm exhausted, bruised, battered, and psyched for class tonight. No rest for the weary!

Oh - a P.S. On Sunday had dinner at M's, and met the new boy. Seems very nice. He's a good cook. They particularly liked this part of dialogue:
Me: Mel, thanks for the strawberry shortcake for dessert. It's my favorite.
Mel: Don't thank me, thank Eric.
Me: Thanks for the strawberry shortcake, Eric.
Eric: Don't thank me, thank Mel.
(pause)
Me: I hate you both.

The Power of the Force, and hoses

2005-03-07T13:44:00.000-05:00

Well, I successfully healed myself before firefighting weekend. Here's the best and worst from the weekend:

Good Times:

Shooting a few hundred gallons of water at a wrecked car at the fire academy. If it had actually been on fire, I might have even lowered the temperature. Accuracy: not so much.
Meeting M's boy, who can cook. Keep him! (at least when I'm coming over hungry).
Getting up a 3 story ladder, "broke" a nonexistant window and dangled there with no hands on the ladder, even though I'm not crazy about heights.
Going to bed before 10pm for 3 straight nights, which I haven't done since middle school, probably.

Bad Times:

Getting punched in the face by a Firefighter 2 student. Not his fault, he was trying to "rescue" me during a drill, but still. I'm sore all over, but happy that I got through our big test of a weekend.
The reason behind the early bed times: 20 hours of physical labor in 2 days. I felt like I was in the Grapes of Wrath during harvest time.

All in all, a good time. Of course, I just wanna go home and pass out, and I've got 4 to 5 hours of class tonight. But it's a fun one - truck tools - i.e. jaws of life!

Stairs and Jedi Powers

2005-03-03T20:35:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night at firefighter school (or "firefighter camp" as one of my friends who was just taken out of my will calls it) was entitled "Working with Engine Tools." It actually should have been called "Carrying Engine tools up stairs, down stairs, up stairs, down stairs, repeat 11 more times." Then we got to chop up stuff with axes and sledgehammers. I actually wasn't sore today, which is a good sign.

This weekend is the biggest test of my firefighting training. 8 to 10 hours on Saturday (we don't know how long) with houses, and then 8 to 10 on Sunday with ladders. This is the bread and butter of what we'll get to do as new, probationary firefighters. Carry heavy shit. Of course, I'm getting sick. So I've decided to use whatever psychic, Jedi, Unitarian, or other powers I have to not be sick. I'm just not gonna be sick. I feel fine. Last night I went to bed at 8:45. That's right - 8:45. You gotta problem with that, mister? That's what I thought.

Cough.

Damn it!

Links of Note

2005-03-02T15:21:00.000-05:00

Read these. . .

keep your receipt at Chucky Cheese.
Somebody stop this guy. Check the recipes.
First Cat Stevens, then Ted Kennedy. Now, Canadian "Defense" officials.
Check the Weather Report. I like to think she got her start "writing reviews" for The Bates Student. Ask her about Billy Madison sometime.
Battle the forces of Libertarianism here. Hey, she's right approximately half the time, and doesn't mind when I make fun of her. (probably because she's really good at making fun of me)
Try not to vomit from the cuteness. She used to be a total bitch. I swear. (Why do you think we became friends?) Now she likes puppies and shit. Weird.
Read The Sports Guy if you've ever cared about sports, pop culture, good writing, or breathed oxygen.
I don't care how old the picture is. She's a great writer, and I totally would.
Much smarter than me. Bonus points for facial hair.
Best. Blog. Ever. Oh, a close second.

Code 99, and why USA Today doesn't get it.

2005-03-02T10:48:00.000-05:00

This article is a typical "indictment" of paramedic training, which I disagree with. Their argument is that paramedics are overused and therefore not really as effective - more medics, fewer calls per medic, medics aren't as street- smart. Their case study is an anecdote about how a fire company saved a patient with an AED - Automatic External Defibrilator.

Quick acronym lesson: Three types of Emergency Medical Technicians. EMT-Basic (often just called an EMT, or Basic) EMT-Intermediate (EMT-2, very similar to a Basic, but they can start IVs and initiate more complicated cardiac treatments. Often times considered a "medic" when a department doesn't have an Intermediate specific unit. In Arlington County, EMT-I's are considered medics.) EMT-Paramedic (Medics. The end-all-be-all king of the EMT jungle. They can do a ton of stuff - IVs, trachiotomy, narcotics, pronounce time of death)

USA Today is missing the point. All firefighters, EMTs, Medics, whatever, are Rescue CPR certified - which is a higher level of license than what you got when you became a lifeguard, or a camp counselor. They are all also licensed to use an AED, which is the best treatment for someone who goes into "survivable" cardiac arrest. I know, because I've done both, and I've worked cardiac calls. Well, one cardiac call. The real issue there, and the issue throughout the article, is response time. Once someone drops from a heart attack or other cardiac event, called a "Code 99" or just "a code" you have about 6 minutes before they're D-U-N DONE. What matters in those cases is response time, not level of license. (Brief aside: CPR doesn't work. Unless you are a near drowning victim or were electrocuted. If you go into cardiac arrest because you're hypovolumic, low on blood, it's been fun. See you on the flip side)

The reason that paramedics don't save a significantly larger number of patients than Basics is because they are dispatched to different types of calls. In departments where both ambulance (EMT-B) units and Medic units (Paramedic) operate (like, say, Arlington), the 911 call center will always send a medic to more serious calls. The fact that medics save the same number of patients as EMTs is simply proof that they're useful.

I also don't buy this "dilution" argument. The training to become a paramedic is ridiculous. First, you need to become an EMT, a 350 hour course, with additional time for ride alongs, probationary period after licensing, continuing education credit, etc. To move up a step to EMT-Intermediate, you go back for a 500 hour class, more ride along time, more probationary period. The class to become a paramedic is even more intense. It often take EMT-P candidates 2 years to become a paramedic. You need to know chemistry, pharmacology, biology, and psychology. The intensity of the course alone is going to weed people out. Once licensed, as with any medical career, there is intense requirements for continuing education. You're not gonna get through 3 courses, continual training, very high call volume, etc without learning your sh*t.

Also, as fire codes continue to evolve, the nature of the fire/ems community is changing. There are way fewer fires than there used to be. And more people getting sick. And if you ask any fire/rescue people, they all decided to call 911 at 1 in the morning. But that's a different post. In Arlington, 70+% of all calls are medical in nature. For many medical calls, both a medic unit and an engine are dispatched, because many of our firefighters are actually firefighter-paramedics. Emergency services needs to be able to respond to a ton of different situations. Having highly motivated and trained medical people on hand is never a bad thing.

I guess I just took 600 words to say this: Yo, USA Today! Suck it! My friend M yesterday said, "You casually mentioned cutting of your fingernail on Sunday - I would have written 800 words on that experience." Different strokes, I guess. . .

Best. Job. Ever.

2005-03-01T15:27:00.000-05:00

Other than being Wilbon or Kornheiser, this article is the best reason to become a journalist. Also, helpful information for my 4 readers. Yes, you.

Also a good reminder that I'm not getting any. Glad I'm not a writer for Slate:
"Hey Dan, we're doing this piece on condoms . . . uhm, never mind . . . Hey James, we're doing this piece on condoms."

Great Odin's Raven!

2005-02-28T14:15:00.000-05:00

As George Costanza once said, "I'm back, baby!"

The Gospel is getting kicked back into gear. There's been a small pause, I realize, but such is life. Anyway, it's snowing in DC. I find myself doing "CSI" like calculations in my brain.

"hmmm. . . it's sticking to the cars and the sidewalk close to the restaurants, so the temperature is getting closer to what we want. If it cools another 10 degrees, we could still get 3 inches, which should be enough to let me sleep in tomorrow. . ."

I'm hoping that the federal government is as wimpy as every school district in a 3 state zone is and closes early, thereby setting the Institute's slaves free. We follow the federal government, more or less. Except when it comes to funding education stuff. We disagree there, but when it comes to snow, we're cool.

Still recovering from Oscar night. Have dishes to clean, furniture to rearrange, pictures of Salma Hayek to download, fingers to reattach. It'll be a busy night after class, if we have it. Luckily, my ride there is a buddy with a big-ass SUV. Sure, it kills the environment, but I won't have to run stairs for being late. Good times. Was slightly less than thrilled with my Oscar bash. Burned the lasagna, after talking it up all week. Chopped of my finger, er, fingernail, which hurts like a mo-fo when you have to type. Resolved to bring whiskey to work tomorrow for medicinal purposes.

Agenda for tomorrow is to go see a movie, hopefully "Sideways." Only four months after it was cool!

Blog Historical Record

2004-12-10T15:44:00.000-05:00

So here's a question that I've been going over in my head. Under what circumstances should a blogger be allowed to delete an entry? I recently, over Thanksgiving, deleted an entry. I got several questions about it from readers since, and I've been thinking about it and decided that in order to delete something, it would have to meet one of the following criteria:

Factual error - pretty simple. If I say up is down, and this is just wrong, and it's pointed out, I'll either edit the piece, or if it's libelous, take it down. I don't really see this happening too often.
Personal Info - I usually proofread and let blog entries lie for a few minutes before I hit the publish button. I made the mistake over Thanksgiving of publishing while I was a bit emotional over something. Also, I was bored as hell.
I Identify someone - I've been trying to keep this blog essentially anonymous. If an anecdote or quote from someone makes the speaker totally obvious, I'd consider removing it.

Obviously, I don't look at my blog as a "journalistic" blog - I'm not Talking Points Memo, Andrew Sullivan, or Wonkette. I'm not even Hedgehog. These folks offer news and commentary, and occassionally break stories. Since the first three view themselves as quasi-journalists, the responsibility to maintain a record of their work is more important.

Movie Night!

2004-12-08T01:14:00.000-05:00

I must have to vaccuum, because when I watch "Remember the Titans" and Gary Burtierre's mom walks into the stadium after her son is paralyzed, and all the fans give her a standing ovation, it gets a little dusty in my casa. Stupid hayfever. Where is all this dust coming from? Gotta get that vaccum cleaner out this weekend. . .

Coming tomorrow: I make fun of libertarians and other free-marketeers, with the little help of a couple homeboys I like to call "The 2001 Nobel Prize winners in Economics."

Stra-te-gery

2004-12-07T14:38:00.000-05:00

epenthesis • \ih-PEN-thuh-siss: the insertion or development of a sound or letter in the body of a word

Merriam Webster Word of the Day.

Fat Yankees.

2004-12-07T09:28:00.000-05:00

And for once, I'm not talking about Torre and Steinbrenner. Apparently, Britain's finest cruise liner, the Queen Mary 2, isn't quite up t o handling fat Americans. Some U.S. tourists kept breaking the chairs with their excessive weight.

Best part of the article:

The seating is mainly in the bar and restaurant areas.

Colin Powell Busts a move

2004-12-06T16:01:00.000-05:00

Maybe he and Ron Artest can tour together.

Reporting for Duty at Station Six

2004-12-06T14:16:00.000-05:00

Well, this will take care of those vague feelings of inadequacy. Starting next Monday, I'm on the road back to Emergency Medical Service Duty! I start my orientation program at the East Falls Church Firehouse, i.e. Station Six, Arlington County. Hopefully, once I get trained-up and through my proby period, I'll be able to volunteer at Station 5, Pentagon City (right around the corner from my apartment, and the firehouse that was first on scene at the Pentagon for 9/11). I'll begin their training program in January to become a volunteer Firefighter/First Responder, and I can then get re-certified as an EMT in Virginia. Stupid National Registry doesn't actually mean you're Nationally Registered, so I'm really glad that I paid to get that national certification. Stupid Federalism, letting states set their own regulations. Although considering that it's been 2 years since I've touched a patient, it's probably good to take a bit of a refresher! Needless to say, I'm very, very excited to get the opportunity to help people again, and I think they give you uniforms and stuff, which means I can go an extra day or two without laundry. Good times!

So, with any luck, come March I'll be hopping into my turnout gear and rolling down the street Code 3.

I just need to remember what Code 3 is.

And how to put on turnout gear.

Oh man, I better hit the books.

Blog of Record?

2004-12-06T10:26:00.000-05:00

So I've been debating, in my head, the what the "theme" of this blog should be. I brought it up with a friend at a bar on Saturday night. He said, "Theme? But you don't have a theme, guy." Which is very true. So for now, this is going to be a Seinfeldian blog - no overarching theme. But I will continue to link to stuff that I think is good. Many people have asked me what I read on a day to day basis. Here's a short list:

Josh Marshall - a blog, Talking Points Memo, with a real purpose, news, and that's really really well done.

The Daily Quickie - ESPN.com's humorous daily breakdown of sports stories. Great especially for the instant history declarations - the World Series was the Best. Series. Ever. kinda stuff.

Drudge - Love it and hate it.

Washington Post and NY Times front pages. And Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, and Tom Friedman.

Under Orders

2004-12-03T10:23:00.000-05:00

Never thought I'd talk about libertarians so much in my blog. However, I have been ordered to say the following: All libertarian women are wicked hot. And men, liberal, conservative, whatever, should all want to date libertarians, because they're cool and not too girly. Of course, a libertarian girl told me this while carrying 4 boxes of high heels at DSW while helping ME pick out a pair.

Late edit: That last line should say "a pair of shoes." They were not, in fact, high heels.

Headquarters? What is it?

2004-12-02T13:55:00.000-05:00

It's a big building with generals in it, but that's not important right now.

So last night went to a libertarian apartment to watch Airplane with other libertarian types. Don't worry, I haven't had the free-market kool aid just yet. But when "Airplane" is involved, I'm willing to watch, even if it means associating with wackos. I mean "people I don't agree with." Sorry.

It was a very nice apartment in Ballston (which is always funny, especially when mispronounced) that I became allergic to within 30 seconds. It was probably that a cat had lived there until two months ago, or that a libertarian currently lives there.

The libertarian in question, however, has a very nice blog. It has, like, a theme and stuff, which I currently lack. But I say that themes are overrated. I got tired just picking what background I was gonna use. Now I need some common thread throughout? Bleck.

My favorite story of the day, of course, is that Jason Giambi admitted to using steroids. Good times! And he called them "the cream" and "the clear." Maybe he just thought he need Preparation H and Noxema. Simple mistake.

My other favorite story is the wacko election going on in the Ukraine. I like the whole "popular uprising" and "the true spirit of democracy shining through the corruption" angles fine, but what I'm really interested in is finding out if the challenger was actually poisoned by the president. That would be a fantastic story. Mostly because it didn't actually kill him, it just made him ugly. And what if that's all they wanted to do? Keep him alive, but give him some ugly juice. Now that, my friends, is a campaign.

Though I walk through the valley. . .

2004-12-01T09:23:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I am taking a deep breath and doing the unthinkable. I gotta buy new shoes. I hate buying shoes. I hate buying anything, really. Which is good, since I work for a non-profit and have almost no purchasing power any damn way. So I'm bringing in a ringer, my friend MO. She's my style consultant. Actually, she's one of my friends who I trust to say "those shoes came from a clown college." She's good people like that.

mmmmm. . .

2004-11-25T19:10:00.000-05:00

Love to eat turkey. . . . . love to eat tur-ur-ur-key. . .

Catchphrase Fever!

2004-11-24T23:07:00.000-05:00

I was accused of bringing a catchphrase into our circle of friends - in a tone that could have been interpreted as meaning "You brought herpes into our circle of friends." That catchphrase? Good times, of course. A blatant rip off from Bill Simmons, ESPN.com. A brilliant writer, but it is true. I definitely over use it. And it has infected my happy hour crew. My boy JS and I were remarking the other day at our ersatz Thanksgiving that we had heard the phrase 5 times at dinner, and it was clear that my (over)use of the phrase was to blame. So what did I do? I turned to JS and said, "You realize that everyone here is trying to sound like me. Good times!"

Death before Mango-tini

2004-11-23T14:30:00.000-05:00

Friday night. Silly Georgetown bar, the kind of place where you pay 8 dollars for a gin and tonic – rail. Out with my buddy C, and we meet up with our friends the Network girls. All of them have jobs at a major network, mostly doing news-ish PA stuff. Anyway, at this silly bar, the specialty drink is a Mango Martini, or “crap” as I like to call them. I’m not a big fan. First of all, I’m old school when it comes to my martinis – dirty Saphire martini on the rocks, one olive, stirred, please. Second, I’m allergic to mangos. Sad, but true. I’m allergic to many, many things – fruits, nuts, Bible-thumping conservatives, reality tv. But definitely mangos.

Girl at the bar, one of the network girls, starts pushing a mango martini on me like a drug dealer at the Osborne family Thanksgiving.

“Try it, try it, try it.” She keeps telling me. So finally, to shut her up, I do. Take a sip. Instantly, tongue gets “itchy,” I can taste the mango-ish taste.

I smile, and she says, “See, isn’t that great? Don’t you want one?” And I said, “no.”

So she immediately asks me why. When I tell her that I’m allergic to mangos, she gets a look on her face and says, “Well, why don’t you just tell me you don’t like it.” I’m now forced to defend my mango allergy. She refuses to believe me – I have to bring C in. Helpfully, he says, “No it’s true – he’s totally fucked up like that – he can’t eat anything.” Thanks, C. Eventually, she believes it, grudgingly. Needless to say, this was my favorite part of the weekend.

Don't Get Sick in NYC

2004-11-17T09:22:00.000-05:00

Apparently, David Lee Roth is training to be an EMT in NYC. I have no words. . .

A Fight Worth Fighting

2004-11-16T10:12:00.000-05:00

With all the war, disease, hunger in the world today, sometimes lesser evils escape. Thankfully, one group in New York is working to end that. HOPE - or Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment is offering a trade in for anyone who made the horrible mistake of buying an Ashlee Simpson album. God bless them.

They're featured on MSN.

And here's their website. A possible Link of the Week.

UPDATE: These folks really are fighting the good fight. They picketed outside of a Paris Hilton book signing, and educated New Yorkers as to why the movie "Taxi" was a disaster.

Rest in Dirty Peace

2004-11-15T09:22:00.000-05:00

Actual conversation from last night:

Roommate: Hey, did you see that O.D.B. died?

Me: Wow, I guess Wu-Tang is gonna need to find another D.B., preferably younger.

Roommate: Thankfully, I don't think there will ever be another O.D.B.

Shiny, Happy People

2004-11-12T11:20:00.000-05:00

So Z has a new blog. This is her happy blog. Not to be confused with depressed, I hate everybody blog of last year. I think my favorite thing is that the second happy entry is all about why she's lazy, hates 51% of America, and Florida sucks. Good times. Check it out.

It was happy 'til I had to wake up

2004-11-12T09:50:00.000-05:00

Despite what certain corporate whores might have tried to tell you, last night's HH was in fact quite fun. Though it started off with a far-too-intense debate on the nature of a hot dog versus a sausage, and was quickly followed up with a wonderful debate on flexible healthcare spending accounts or something. I was too busy trying to light myself on fire to keep from being bored to really pay attention. But then. . . things got interesting. Some new uhhh. . . friends showed up and one of them called a buddy of mine a "Sea Turtle." This is, allegedly, a good thing. I don't know. Those Bud Lights must have been hitting everyone pretty hard. It was almost impossible to walk past a bacon egg and cheese this morning. But somehow I did. . .

Love-ster/Hate-ster

2004-11-11T15:39:00.000-05:00

Just spent 10 minutes wasting time on Friendster. I have a love/hate relationship with Friendster. Mostly just Hate. I think there are distinct periods in a Friendster lifetime. First, exhiliration. You get to find all of these random people - "hey, he sat next to me in Chem in high school! Go Minutemen!" Then, apathy. You've got your 60 "friendsters" which is actually 55 more people than you are actually, you know, friends with. Then, total hatred and annoyance. Why do people keep sending me messages? What is this crap? But you can't get rid of it. Ugh. Total disaster. Anyway, back to work. . . or friendster. . .

Invasion. . .

2004-11-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

So my boys from back home are invading this weekend - in a good way. Murph and Sully, as they affectionately call themselves when in my presence, will be down Saturday through Monday. Sully is flying into Dulles, Murph a bus into Union Station. I told each that I'd meet them, but with my luck they'll be arriving at identical times. I'll tell Murph to go it alone. He went to Harvard. I give him 1 chance in 3 of survival. The weekend will undoubtedly have many toasts to the Red Sox, a couple of fart jokes, and if Sully has his way, copious amounts of Jagiermeister.

I always find these visits a bit weird - the mixing of high school friends, college friends, and post-college friends is disorienting. I don't know how to cope with that. I'm worried that it's just going to reinforce my desire to pack up and head . . . somewhere. I think Z's longings for London are contagious - I downloaded the application packet for Edinburgh and Bristol grad school programs the day after the election. Of course, that could also be because I'm thinking about 4 more years of Bush. Ugh. But I still feel like I'm ready to try something new - I enjoy the challenge. Move somewhere completely different. Create a new social circle. Get back to school. Write again. Read journals, remember the smell of the stacks in a huge library. Lose yourself in old bound copies of periodicals. Stay up until 3am writing a paper.

Where's the Love for the Veterans?

2004-11-11T09:20:00.000-05:00

In the office at 8:55. Silent protest on my part to get a little bit of a Veteran's Day. . .

4:58. . .4:59. . .

2004-11-10T16:58:00.000-05:00

Random thoughts as I prepare to escape for the evening:

Why is Scott Boras trying to ruin my winter? Boston Red Sox catcher's agent says he wants 5 years, $50 million deal with a no-trade clause. That's too long, and the Sox don't do no trade clauses. Now I'm gonna have to get a new Sox t-shirt with a player's name and number on the back. Screw him.

Why would anyone ever get a neck tattoo, and why do they all work at my grocery store?

Working for a non-profit is cool and all, and I love my job, and my coworkers, and the website I designed and run, but why does having a cool job usually mean you're not gonna be able to afford a car? Damn you, cruel world.

I second the motion

2004-11-10T13:57:00.000-05:00

www.fuckthesouth.com

Paging Dr. Sorkin

2004-11-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

If you don't like the West Wing, don't care about the West Wing, then don't read this post. Or go check out Seasons 1 through 3. Then just pretend the show was cancelled.

We need a mass-intervention, people. We need to have Sorkin stop spending his time taking drugs and get back to running West Wing. Or at least running West Wing. He seemed to get more Emmys the more he was smoking/drinking/shooting.

Now, I'm all for killing off key characters as cheap ways to continue tired plot lines. But moving a press secretary, who isn't even allowed into important meetings, to Chief of Staff is a bit farfetched. Of course, this is an administration that began with Capt. Benjamin Willard, back from killing Brando in the jungle and Otter from Delta House running the country. So maybe it was too much to ask. But seriously, how hard would it have been to keep things to a more plausible level - like having Otter start an affair with a gossip columnist, resign, then have French royalty drug the first daughter so she could be kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a farm house in West Virginia? Thank God that Walter Sobchak was the Speaker of the House. Why can't we go back to those more realistic story lines?

The silver lining, I guess, is that I'll have another night free for drinking.

And it begins. . .

2004-11-10T10:02:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my Blog. Someday, perhaps, I'll be as powerful as Wonkette or Drudge. But I'll settle for rivaling this guy. As of right now, I have no idea what this blog will turn into, but it will undoubtedly involve ranting. I'm good at that.

The name of this blog is a direct result of an ongoing contest in my family, that we stole from Dave Barry. The idea is to come up with good names for bands. My idea, The NonProphets, seemed like a perfect name for DC. I'm hoping a confused Mel Gibson make me his homepage. Enjoy.